Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's just like the Real World with babies
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
