that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
