Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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