The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
