Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
