4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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