I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
