i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize