Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
