.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
whose parrot is this?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
