I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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