so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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