I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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