i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Farmville is her only friend.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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