Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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