my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you never un-have a 4some
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
