Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
