then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
