I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
