I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My penis needs a shock collar
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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