I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
