Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
