you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
