I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
