oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
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i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
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You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off