Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.