I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
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if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's blow job season.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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