a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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