can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
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It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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