I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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