You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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