Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
