I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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