shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
