I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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