I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
