I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
