My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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