So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
