Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Mom said you looked used
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
