I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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