I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
