Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
