yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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