i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
