You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
