shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
