Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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