So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He felt like a one man threesome
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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