she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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