I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
