I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
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she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
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The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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