Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
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