On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
