you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
