I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My dick has a subreddit
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
