I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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