i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize