Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
