does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
