Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
